2021

A year of change, acceptance and self growth.

I would describe 2021 as liminal, new, unexpected, exciting, challenging, important, uncomfortable, uncertain, hopeful, and bountiful in happiness.

Seasons in life

My favorite blogger, the one and only Indy Blu's interpretation on life is one that forever changed mine.

Every person will go

through seasons in life.

No, I don't mean the weather going from winter to spring. I mean, the ending of an era in your life. A big change, that changes you. A relationship ending, a new job opportunity, reconnecting with old friends... And to add to her philosophy, I think it depends on what a big change is for you. We are all different, what feels big to you is valid.

I had never been through a huge season change

You would think...

You would think I would associate some of my huge life changes in the past as the ending of a season. Maybe the reason this season feels so real and measurable is because I am older... and growing up changes how you interpret things. Idk, but I know I have been through major life changing events, that did not have the impact on me (that I can remember) that this season, although it's coming to an end, has. Maybe, because a life changing event does not alway promote positive change or change in general. After this year, I believe change is what allows us to grow, when growing is still what you need.

My 2021

This year is a year full of change, acceptance, and self growth

Change

I moved out of my apartment I had with my boyfriend at the time, I lived in Flordia for a month, Moved into a house in my college town with my best friend, and just finished my first semester of my senior year of college.

Living in Flordia kickstarted this new season in my life. My best friend, Gracie Hurd, and I lived in Delray, FL for the month of May. While I knew no matter what I was going to go through with this opportunity, it brought me a lot of worry. I had never been away from home for longer than a week... and unlike most, I quite enjoy being home. I made it through the entire month, better than I had anticipated. I did new things, found beauty in everyday, and enjoyed the sun with Gracie every chance we got. Treating it like vacation with a countdown. Unknowingly, starting my detachment from that little feeling in my stomach that made me worry about what I was missing at home.

Every weekend during my college career until the move in with my best friend, Rachel Power, I longed to go home. All weekend. My safe spot, my comfort zone. With Radford being only an hour and thirty away, this was always an option. I rarely ever spent time in Radford, that I could be spending at home. And while those traits of comfort and happiness will always apply to my hometown, I found a new, different love for my college town. This forced me to take better care of myself, and adapt, then grow in my enviroment. It's funny because I remember my first semester of college my mom enforced a "6 week mandatory stay" after I moved into my dorm. I never understood why she felt like this was important. Although now, I know it cannot be forced but it was necessary to grow. Sorry mom! It took me till my senior to appreciate what Radford had to offer.

The second to last semester. I can't lie... it was filled with endless memories, although endless isn't so endless anymore. Late nights, frat parties, sorority events, wine nights, breakfast runs at 2 p.m., homework, bar crawls, date parties, and all of the above. For the first time ever, I wanted to stay in Radford, it has a part of my heart. I have so much love for the area that taught me you can find comfort, appreciation, and fun somewhere that is not home. It may take a while, but you grow. Then you blossom.

I have one semester left of my college career. I am going to embrace and soak in every moment that I can. Almost back where I started... Nervous, feeling attatched to Radford. But, now I know what change, uncertainity, and that nagging feeling in your stomach can have to offer if you see it through. Because I know that those feelings are normal, it is okay to feel sad about a season ending. But it is important to have an open and excited mentality about your upcoming season.

Acceptance

I feel acceptance in a few different ways. I think I have gotten to a point where I truly am understanding myself. The things I enjoy, the people I choose to enjoy them with, and my limits. I also find acceptance in the people around me. I used to become so consumed with situations that sometimes had nothing to do with me! I would worry and consider the ways I would handle it, when I realized... No matter how much worrying, bargaining, reminding, or convincing you do... It is up to them. And, I have found that even though the path may be painful or take longer for them to realize they will figure it out... or not. Either way, its not your responsibility nor decision. It is out of your control. However, you can control your influence on people, your advice, and your actions.

Self Growth

I can see the end of this season on the horizon. Different from the past, I am not scared. I am excited for the future and what it has to offer. I can appreicate the hard times I experienced, I don't want to act like they never happened. They did, and I grew because of it. This season made me an adult, a Woman. I will always recognize this season as a pivital time in my life. It is time to recognize that, feel that, and embrace that.

2022... I am ready for you.